Having grown up in a family with five kids, I have hoped for years that God would bless me with several children of my own. Perhaps because this is always something I’ve desired it’s actually been fairly easy for me to picture our family expanding to include this child.
I will say this, though. As a grad school wife, as a mom of a very active, on-the-go 16 month old, and also since I work from home 15 hours a week, this pregnancy has definitely been different than my first. With Katelyn, and, I suspect, with many first time pregnancies, this child growing inside was going to make me a mother. I had never been a mother before. I had never experienced the daily miracle of life until then. What happened in those nine months was the fruition of many prayers over many years that God would bless me with children. I thought about the pregnancy constantly. I had every appointment memorized. I looked at pregnancy apps on my iPod touch almost daily.
This time around, now that I am healthy again and since I am not feeling the baby move constantly, I sometimes forget that I am pregnant. I forget when my appointments are. I have a general idea of the development of this baby, but I don’t have a daily update to give Peter over dinner. It isn’t that I love this baby any less. I suppose that since Katelyn has already made me a mom, my life is not about to change as drastically and I don’t think about it nearly as often. Life in general keeps me from having time to just stop and think about pregnancy.
All this said, though, I will say that seeing the baby via ultrasound was just as incredible this time as it was with the first. I still get nervous before appointments, only to have a wave of relief and thankfulness when I hear the heart beating. It may not be the emotions of a first time mom, but I do know that this little one is already very loved. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that this baby will be even more loved than Kate, because now there are three of us to love him or her.
What were your feelings during your second pregnancy? Or after the baby was born and back in your home?